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The World Is Waiting To Hear Your Story Thu, 14 May 2020 19:08:45 +0000 en-CA hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://pattimhall.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/cropped-icon-1-32x32.png memoir writing | Patti M Hall https://pattimhall.com/tag/memoir-writing/ 32 32 Self Kindness Meant Getting Out of My Own Way https://pattimhall.com/self-kindness-meant-getting-way/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=self-kindness-meant-getting-way Fri, 24 Mar 2017 14:57:19 +0000 http://pattimhall.com/?p=1227 We get all up in our own grills, don’t we? The nasty self-talk, the limiting beliefs and the overly cautious choices that are motivated by fear rather than hope. These are all hallmarks of the perpetually Unkind-to-Selfers. I’m guilty on all counts. Are you? We have only ourselves to blame and that isn’t always easy…

The post Self Kindness Meant Getting Out of My Own Way appeared first on Patti M Hall.

]]> We get all up in our own grills, don’t we? The nasty self-talk, the limiting beliefs and the overly cautious choices that are motivated by fear rather than hope. These are all hallmarks of the perpetually Unkind-to-Selfers. I’m guilty on all counts.

Are you?

We have only ourselves to blame and that isn’t always easy to live with. There, I’m laying that accusation down, but let me tell you a story to soften the blow.

In my ongoing effort to improve self-kindness, I’m getting honest about why things haven’t always turned out just the way I’d hoped. For me, that includes rewriting my manuscript – again; because I needed to admit it is no longer good enough, by my standards. While I’ve been ghostwriting and growing a writing inspiration and coaching biz online at pattimhall.com these last few years. I’ve also written two memoirs. Before you ask, neither of them is published yet. (But thanks for asking.)

I’m rewriting now, but this was a long time coming. I knew that I was going to completely overhaul my manuscript before seeking a new agent for it. I knew this rework would entail a new title, outline, structure and yanking our seven-year-odyssey with rare disease ruthlessly out of chronological order. Here’s the rub – I knew what it was going to take. I knew because I am a writer, voracious reader and #memoiraholic and I know memoirs. I knew my manuscript wasn’t reflective of the story I wanted to tell or my writing ability anymore. I wasn’t willing to make these next few forays into conventional publishing with anything less than what I felt was my best. But did I jump in with both feet and get to work? Nope. I had a meltdown. I worried about things I told myself were more important. I stopped writing all together. I worked on my paying gigs, built a new website, but didn’t touch my book. Didn’t touch it at all.

I may sound like I have clarity now, but it took me 18 months. That was time I didn’t want to lose because I am stricken with a passion for valuing every day (the essential lessons of my two memoirs.) AND, what is worse and far more unkind than the way I treated my book, is that EVERY SINGLE DAY I berated myself for not rewriting, as if I had forgotten to pick up my child and left him on the curb at rush-hour. Yes…18 months of beating myself up (“Just forget it, Patti, you’re a has been, nobody is going to interested in this.”), diminishing my work (“You took too long.”), judging my initial motivation for writing that book AND for being a writer (high-pitched witchy giggles and imaginary crooked purple fingers pointed at me).

I’m a book writing coach, and that irony wasn’t lost on me. Had I been my own client I would have patiently and lovingly companioned myself, offering: “You’ll know when it’s time.” and “The story will be so much better for the waiting.” But I didn’t. Instead, I fell back on the script that has been my constant companion since childhood. It was some of the nastiness self talk ever for me, so far beyond the “inner critic” that I can’t label it and won’t try.

Some weeks ago I wrote a new kind of script… a Self-Schooling Script. I crafted a Personal Memoir Writing School and I was my only student. It had a few units of study that I devised as a return to the writing life. I wrote every day. I read constantly. I hung out at the bookstore regularly. I studied. I picked up the five memoirs that are what I consider the most exceptional exemplars. I listened to them on audio and then marked up the paper copies in order to disassemble the plot lines and structure, and to absorb the authors’ voices. I went at this like I would any grad school course because I was staking my life on this. I’m not being overly dramatic here. Writing isn’t what I do, it is who I am. Without it, I would cease to exist. I knew that once I uttered the words, once I said out loud to the universe that I was going to permanently shelve my book, my relationship with myself as a writer would be shattered. I would be shattered and it would be my own doing. I would never have let one of my clients or writer pals step away from their identity, their story or their life’s work. I couldn’t let myself either, in the end. Kindness to myself won out. I coached myself eventually. Thankfully.

Schooling myself has been exhausting, expensive and frankly, self-indulgent. It has been as necessary as therapy to come out of depression and yoga to overcome what winter has done to my body (more on that next month). But I’m writing again, have a new 21-page outline and the memoir is being reborn. I got schooled in some acts of self-kindness and I’m a better writer (and a better me) because of it.

a version of this appeared in www.kindovermatter.com in 2017

[My memoir Loving Large: A Mother’s Rare Disease Memoir is releasing in April 2020. You can order your copy online at Amazon worldwide or please seek out a copy at your local bookseller. With thanks, Patti.]

The post Self Kindness Meant Getting Out of My Own Way appeared first on Patti M Hall.

]]> Writing Made Easy: Write The Places https://pattimhall.com/writing-made-easy-write-places/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=writing-made-easy-write-places Mon, 06 Mar 2017 15:39:20 +0000 http://pattimhall.com/?p=1202 Write what you see. Write what you feel. Write where you go. In celebration of places that inspire and the moments that we write. Places are my inspiration. Places imbue my life with meaning. And so, I write of them, in them and with them. Write where you go today. Write where you went on…

The post Writing Made Easy: Write The Places appeared first on Patti M Hall.

]]> Write what you see. Write what you feel. Write where you go.

In celebration of places that inspire and the moments that we write.

Places are my inspiration. Places imbue my life with meaning. And so, I write of them, in them and with them.

Write where you go today. Write where you went on Sunday. Write that place that made an indelible impression on your memory twenty-two years ago.

You can see the theme of place in my posts. It is in my yearning for more kilometres this year, my Squeeee! noise when I captured a pic of my favourite chair with the fox pillow a few days ago. Places are multi-sensory. Places evoke feelings and senses. They provoke memories of old and create sensations for new ones.

Places inspire storytelling.

On this day, the afternoon in Tullamore pictured, my son Justin was still truly a little boy. Rain drops speckled the camera lens and neither of us had a coat, but we trudged up to this monarch.  I remember my horror when he climbed on the limbs of the King Oak, like he would any tree, like any kid would on any gorgeous tree that had craned its spine so as to lay its mammoth branches nearly on the ground, just go little animals could scurry up their length and breadth.

I recall my apprehension when he scurried up. How I coaxed Justin in a whisper to get down. How I invented rules that didn’t exist, and got a terse tone with him when he simply asked me, “Why?” did he have to come down.

There were no signs, no guards, no fences, postings or rules.

In fact, engaging with the King Oak is precisely why it thrives, in my mind. I took many photos of my little animal on the branches of this King of trees. I even managed to rest back onto the branch at the lower right. I was fearful about the legend…that if one of the branches breaks off a member of the family that holds title to the estate (and the tree I suppose) will die. But Justin reminded me that we are in experience with nature. He felt that tree, more than hugged this giant, and our afternoon was memorable because of that play, and the lessons that a brilliant little mop-headed lad taught his too-cautious Mama who had forgotten how much she loves trees, again. 

Write your lessons, experiences with nature, moments with your child, someone else’s child or yourself as a wee lass or laddie in a tree. But write the places of your life.

OH– in the course of writing this little post, I looked up my facts about The King Oak.  You should too — it was voted the European Tree of the Year once — it didn’t need the title to be spectacular. It is that place where I first learned that my youngest son will always teach me the subtle lessons of having a giggle when I’m long overdue.

Image courtesy of my dear from Tammy Mackenzie. Instagram @mackenziephoto. Thank you, my love.

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]]> Declare your Writing is Important https://pattimhall.com/declare-your-writing-is-important/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=declare-your-writing-is-important Fri, 03 Mar 2017 00:38:51 +0000 http://pattimhall.com/?p=265 A client emailed me last week and said, “I have no time. It’s the same problem as always — no time.” When you start writing about your life, it feels like a luxury. It is that self-indulgent, time to yourself activity that you talk about the same way as winning the lottery or sailing around…

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]]> A client emailed me last week and said,

“I have no time. It’s the same problem as always — no time.”

When you start writing about your life, it feels like a luxury. It is that self-indulgent, time to yourself activity that you talk about the same way as winning the lottery or sailing around the world….

It is something you said you MIGHT do someday…

when you retired

when you had a week off

after the kids were in school

but then life got in the way, right?

Yvonne wrote this, “I can’t get to the pages you wanted me to write, I can’t even get to the other things in my life.”

I get it. I understand. Just this morning before I lifted my head off the pillow I heard that voice (sounded a lot like me) saying you should be walking right now, you have to pull weeds, clean the cat box, empty the recycling, vacuum the living room, walk the dogs, return 72 emails, edit 14 pages ….

how are we supposed to feel rested, or like we can take 20 minutes away to write, when the list is bombarding us before we even open our eyes??

It happens for all of us who write, whether you are trying to life write for the first time, or you’ve been at it a dozen years full time like I have.

Here is the truth–

you don’t find time to write—you make time to write. 

How? By actively carving it out of your days, your family’s days and the life that you lead. 

There is no way around it, writing will drop to the bottom of the list until you declare it is

important

paramount 

significant

essential

imperative

When I say declare I mean to firmly stand up for your writing–it feels good and you want to do more of it, right—

so tell everyone, tell the universe and especially your kids and partner–those lovely beings we call family can be the toughest ones to convince.

Like my client wrote: “Everything else seems so much more important than writing in my journal about my life when I was six.” 

Unless you declare otherwise to yourself, and the world, this will continue to be true.

So…make it so… 

Tips for making writing important–

start with self-talk:

I’ve always wanted to do this, so I need this time. It is important to me. 

(Say this or any other affirmation as often as you need to.

Tip: Have a special book, a particular place to write, a favourite pen and say no to everything else while you are writing.

Tip:  Set Boundaries–you need them. Try this:  “when my bedroom door is closed I’m writing. I’ll be out in a half hour.” (Then slam the door and laugh your butt off)

try telling the people around you next:

This really feels important to me. I have discovered something I love. or if you have to–this will be for you someday (even though you have no intention of ever letting them read it).

Tip: Make it clear your notebook, journal or laptop is off limits to readers. If you are certain no one will read it, you are much more likely to write great stuff.

Tip:  Go at it with pleasure, not guilt. You aren’t abandoning the house, kids or pets…you are working on something you love, for you.

grab a Daily Trigger at www.triggeringmemories.com or download a page of our FREE printable stationary in our shop at http://www.triggeringmemories.com/bundles-feelings.html

and write what you remember, what you miss, what you wish you had more of…

WRITE. YOUR. LIFE

If you say it is important…it will be.

Make it so..

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]]> Getting Started on Your Memoir (Pt. 2) https://pattimhall.com/getting-started-memoir-pt-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=getting-started-memoir-pt-2 Fri, 17 Feb 2017 10:48:34 +0000 http://pattimhall.com/?p=1175 You want to write but don’t know how to get started, right? If you are absolutely sure you want to write your story, or even a memoir, I can help. You want to write. You know that much.  Do these sound like things you say? “I want to leave my story for my grandkids.” “Writing…

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You want to write but don’t know how to get started, right?

If you are absolutely sure you want to write your story, or even a memoir, I can help.

You want to write. You know that much. 

Do these sound like things you say?

“I want to leave my story for my grandkids.”

“Writing a book is on my bucket list.”

“I’m journal writer, now how do I make it a book?”

“Everyone tells me, “You have to write a book.”

“I just know there is a book in me.”

“My story has to be out in the world.”

Almost every memoir writer I’ve met can align themselves with one of those. But you, your writing and the way you get the words on the page are completely unique. Everyone gets to his or her writing goal by trying some of the tools I’m highlighting below.

Keep on reading…

If writing alone in a quiet corner, sipping tea while you look over old sepia family photographs isn’t for you…how about sitting down for a few hours in a room with other people who are just trying to get some personal stories on a page. In that room are supportive, compassionate people and a group leader who knows what it takes to pull your memories and guide them into a story you can write. A writing group is every writer’s friend. Writing is a team sport.

Find one, make one, join one online. Quiet space, shared purpose and nothing to do but feel the joy of getting started with your writing. Groups work.

Individual attention is just the momentum boost we need, at some point. I have a coach, without whom I would have given up long ago. I know how valuable working with a personal writing cheerleader is to the process. If you have started a little, and feel unsure about your writing, or you have questions about getting it into a structure, table of contents, outline or book form, then a writing mentor or a word-loving super-coach is ideal for you.  A coach keeps you writing and will take your pages into a book with you.

A coach nudges you forward, meets with you regularly, will make you feel like a Pulitzer is coming you way. A coach will look at your writing with you, gently suggest places to add some detail(always), and spots where you could take away some detail (rarely).

Neither of those sound good?  How about a Facebook group for writers, a class at your local library, a workbook or a self-guided online course? Try the next thing. Try anything. Whatever it takes to return to the story, time and time again. It takes 250 pages to make a book. Of course there will be some twists and turns in the path to that big number.

One page at a time. Write today. Write what you can. Find your team. Find your coach. Take a course, ask for help, join something.

The world is waiting to hear your story.

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]]> 12 Reasons You Should Write Your Memoir Anyway https://pattimhall.com/12-reasons-write-memoir-anyway/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=12-reasons-write-memoir-anyway Wed, 15 Jun 2016 15:47:08 +0000 http://pattimhall.com/?p=883 It’s time, right?  You’re ready to write about your life. You bought the gorgeous notebook, the beautiful pen, the tea is made, your butt is in the chair and then the really hard part begins… Telling the voices of criticism, doubt and skepticism to pipe down (especially the ones coming from inside your own head.)…

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It’s time, right? 
You’re ready to write about your life.
You bought the gorgeous notebook, the beautiful pen, the tea is made, your butt is in the chair and then the really hard part begins…

Telling the voices of criticism, doubt and skepticism to pipe down
(especially the ones coming from inside your own head.)

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

You’re not a writer!
Who’s going to read your story?
A memoir? You aren’t famous?
You can’t write that stuff!
What if no one ever reads it?
What if someone does read it?

Here’s my first piece of memoir coachly advice:

Give the same response to every comment, from every person.
Some of clients and writer pals use this one:
I’m writing my memoir anyway.

Make it your mantra.
But when you need to, dive into these twelve reasons (and a bonus one!), every time the noise in your head challenges you for an answer to one of these questions.

2016-01-31-1454277931-6131706-womanwritingphoto.jpg

Why write about your life?

12. To find you: You won’t know how brilliant you are until you see yourself on paper where you’re honest, not judging yourself and no one is watching.
Write to hear your voice.

11. To find the next step on your path: To consider where to go next, it helps to understand how your past choices got you to today.
Write where you’ve been.

10. Because there is value in remembering: You write, and you remember. Writing pulls from places we don’t visit in our daily lives.
Write to remember.

9. Because you’re bound to learn something: Writing about your life gets you to wondering why something happened, or how you got this way.
Write to dig deeper.

8. To feel better: Your story may have some pain in it. On the page the fear is gone, the sting relieved.
Write to get through the tough parts.

7. Because you have a lot to be grateful for: You’re fortunate—in your country, living in this time, being loved.
Write to tap into your gratitude.

6. To pass on some enlightenment: You’ve learned a lot in your experiences, travels, and relationships. You’re a warehouse of wisdom.
Write to share your message.

5. To show the rest of you: There is more to you than parent, worker, sibling and friend. You have opinions, feel passionately, and live with your heart.
Write to show your full self.

4. To share the strength and the failures: If you decide to let someone read your writing, (and you don’t have to) you just might spare your reader having to learn the hard way.
Write to share your story.

3. To get your side of things on the record: There is always someone who tells a version of the truth that simply isn’t how you remember it.
Write to tell it your way.

2. To leave a piece of yourself behind: Our writing lives on, is savored and treasured by others and has a depth of connection our loved ones crave.
Write to leave a piece of yourself for someone.

1. Because you can. We are the only species that can communicate this way. Studies prove that the physical experience of pulling our stories, finding our words, and sifting through our memories releases the bliss chemicals.

That’s the bonus: 

Write because it feels so good.

And remember this response for all the naysayers…
“I’m writing my memoir, anyway.” 

originally published in Huffington Post

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